Communicating Effectively – Listening Cheat Sheet

Communicating Effectively – Listening Cheat Sheet

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 Pay Attention to Your Body
•       Stay present to the person and breathe.
•       Focus on the person with your whole body.
•       Notice your feelings but do your best to remain focused on the other person.
•       Keep a positive intention. Be kind. If your goal is to get even are get the other person to admit you are right, you are sabotaging your communication efforts.
•       Try to match the person you are listening with your body and your energy.
Paraphrase
•       In your own words repeat back what you are hearing.
•       “So what I hear you saying is….”
•       “Hold on, let me just make sure I am getting this right….”
•       What else?
•       Is there something more you need to tell me?
•       Is there anything else I need to know?
•       Ok, and…?
•       Yeah, and…?
Use Nonjudgmental Language
•       I notice you are talking fast and your voice is squeeky.  Does this mean you are feeling excited?
•       I notice you are very quiet and your mouth is starting to quiver. What are you feeling right now?
•       You can’t stay still in your chair and your eyes are all over the place.  What’s going on for you right now?
Notice
•       I notice you are talking fast and your voice is squeeky.  Does this mean you are feeling excited?
•       I notice you are very quiet and your mouth is starting to quiver. What are you feeling right now?
•       You can’t stay still in your chair and your eyes are all over the place.  What’s going on for you right now?
Home Strategies
•       Do not have difficult conversations in the heat of a big feeling. Make sure everyone is well resourced.
•       Manage your own stress.  When you take care of yourself, you are taking care of your whole family.
•       Eat meals together with no electronic devices including the TV.
•       Have 30-minute family time where all electronic devices are shut off and everyone is gathered in the same location.
•       Initiate 20-minute family walks.
•       Work together on a project – puzzles, Lego buildings, art projects, baking, ect.
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